Endless Snow
by miyuki-chan4
Summary: Another childhood fic, of Gonou this time. Please R&R! And, oh yeah, i won't keep on writing death fics :) i'm actually working on a humor fic now.


Endless Snow  
  
Gonou gazed out the frosted window, at the many children outside. The winter had just begun, and naturally every kid in the orphanage would want to play. It was the same thing every year. He watched a boy throw a snowball at another, narrowly missing a girl who was building a snowman twice her size. He watched several smaller kids play a game of chase, while more were content making snow angels on the ground.  
  
Yes, everybody played. Except him. Winter brought nothing but icy cold anyway.  
  
Walking back to his chair in the library, Gonou sat down and opened a book. He had planned to get this one done before the winter, but it couldn't be helped. The nuns were constantly talking to him, asking him why he didn't talk or play with the other orphans.  
  
A small sigh escaped Gonou as he turned a page. Even when he knew they wanted to help him, they were actually just being bothersome.  
  
Ever since they took Kanan away, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Even playing no longer had a reason. She was the only one left after his parents' death, and he had cherished her in his heart more than anything. Now that she was gone, Gonou felt like a part of him had died, and he could no longer find it in him to smile. He shut out the world, withdrawing deeper and deeper within himself. It took an obvious effect. Other seven- year olds didn't want to play with him, because all they saw was an unfriendly boy, cold as ice, who never smiled. He kept himself in the library almost all the time, because the books that he read kept his mind distracted from feelings that hurt.  
  
But. no matter what he did... Nothing ever took away his loneliness, the one feeling that hurt him deeply more than anything else.  
  
Winter only brought bitter cold, a bitter cold he knew well in his heart.  
  
Feeling disgusted with all these thoughts, Gonou shoved them all aside and concentrated once more on his book, cringing a little as he pushed up his glasses. He'd never get it done with them distracting him.  
  
Suddenly, he heard the sound of the main doors opening, and the faint murmur of adults speaking. Setting down his book, Gonou quietly walked out and down the hallway, until he came to the main room of the orphanage. One of the nuns was talking to a rather well-dressed lady. Gonou turned away. The lady was just probably there to give a donation. Nothing worth seeing.  
  
"Her parents have already passed away a long time ago. It was her brother that had just died."  
  
He stopped, and looked at them once more. The lady wasn't going to give a donation, as he had thought. She was leaving someone behind...  
  
"Of course she is welcome, but where are you going?" the nun asked.  
  
"My husband and I travel very often because of our business. She was born with a rather frail health, and she can't make long trips in her condition. So I'm afraid we'll have to leave her here until we come back."  
  
"You are her aunt?"  
  
"Yes, I am. Please call me Seira."  
  
"She doesn't have any other relatives she can stay with, does she, Seira?"  
  
"Not that I know of." The nun gave a small sigh. "Very well then."  
  
The lady then turned to a small girl beside her that Gonou hadn't seen. She had a thick brown coat on, and a hood that partially hid her face. She was clutching a something tightly to her chest, something Gonou couldn't see, and seemed to be staring at her shoes. The lady knelt until she was level with the girl, and spoke gently.  
  
"Yuei, you're going to be staying here until I come back, alright?" the girl didn't look at her, but faintly nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be back for you, I promise." She cupped Yuei's chin, bringing their eyes together.  
  
Seira then took the hood off, revealing long, lavender hair that fell freely and reached the girl's waist. She kissed Yuei's pale cheek, then said good-bye.  
  
After she had left, the nun turned her attention to Yuei and led her down the hall. Gonou stepped aside and watched as they passed him by. As soon as they did, Yuei's sad amethyst eyes met his cold emerald ones, where they lingered until Gonou looked away. He still felt her gaze on him, but when he looked again the nun had already brought her further down the hall.  
  
* * *  
  
The next day, Gonou was back in the library, intent on finishing his book. He skimmed through its pages, until he found the part he was reading the day before. Soon he was totally absorbed in it.  
  
Suddenly, the door behind him creaked. He turned to see Yuei standing uncertainly in the doorway. At first they just stared at each other, until Yuei spoke first.  
  
"Is it alright if I stay here?" her voice was soft, yet lucid.  
  
Gonou nodded. He saw that she was holding an old, somewhat worn book in her arms. It was probably what she held on to when he first saw her. When she passed him, he noticed the book had no title on its cover. Yuei took the chair in front of him, and opened her book while Gonou went back to reading his. Silence drifted around them.  
  
Suddenly, a snowball hit the glass window, followed by cheerful laughter.  
  
Yuei turned to the sound, but Gonou ignored it. The other kids do that almost all the time, anyway. They never break the glass though. The worst they've done was make a loud, splattering noise. But Yuei stood up, left her book on the table and began to gaze out the window. Gonou just watched her. She gave a small, longing sigh, while her thin shoulders drooped a little. Gonou, puzzled by this, stood from his own chair and walked to her side, glancing sideways at her.  
  
"You shouldn't let them bother you." He found himself saying. "They do that all the time."  
  
"It's not that." She replied, still watching them. "It's just... they look so happy..."  
  
"Well, why don't you join them?"  
  
"I wish I could," she laid a hand on the cold glass, "but I can't. I'm too weak to play outside."  
  
Gonou no longer knew what to say to this, and stayed silent.  
  
Meanwhile, Yuei let her hand fall and turned to him.  
  
"I'm sorry I acted that way." she apologized. "My name is Yuei." She offered him a friendly smile. "What's yours?"  
  
"Gonou. Cho Gonou." He stiffly replied, not facing her.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Gonou."  
  
When he didn't reply again, Yuei glanced out the window, then faced him once more. "Um... how come you're staying here...?" she hesitantly asked. "Is someone going to come back for you too?"  
  
Gonou knew that the chances of her relatives coming back were very slim, but he couldn't tell her that. She was sad enough as it is.  
  
"No." He replied, stoically looking out the window. "My parents died when I was little." he paused for a while, wondering if he should continue. "I did have a sister," his eyelids narrowed slightly, "but we got separated." He turned to Yuei. "I never saw her again."  
  
"I see..." Yuei averted her violet eyes downwards. "I don't really remember my parents. For as long as I can remember, it was just me and my big brother."  
  
"He took care of you?"  
  
Yuei nodded. "He used to read his books to me all the time." There was a hint of ruefulness in her voice which she obviously tried to hide with her smile. "I really... miss him, Gonou."  
  
Gonou's eyes strayed to the book she left behind on the table. "Was that his?"  
  
Yuei followed his gaze, and went towards her book, picking it up carefully. "This was his favorite. He read this to me a lot of times, and I'd never get tired of listening. They took away all his other books," she held her book tighter, "but I kept this one from them. My aunt wanted to replace it, but I wouldn't let her. It's the only thing I have left that. that belonged to...my brother..."  
  
She began to stagger, and without warning, fell to the floor. Gonou quickly ran to her and caught her just in time.  
  
"I'm so sorry..." she murmured, clutching her head with one hand and holding to Gonou with the other. "It's... it's one of my faint spells. I just pass out sometimes, especially in cold weather." Slowly, she stood up, hanging onto him for support. "I'll be fine."  
  
"Maybe you should get something to eat."  
  
Yuei smiled weakly. "That would be nice."  
  
"You can have either bread or soup here." Gonou replied, leading her out the door. "And the occasional vegetables."  
  
"Doesn't sound that bad..." Yuei mused, "but I don't really like vegetables much."  
  
"I don't like them either," Gonou admitted, a faint smile on his face, "but the bread's pretty good, especially when the soup is hot..."  
  
With that, they walked down the hall. On the way, Yuei still held onto his hand, and didn't seem to want to let go. Gonou thought of pulling it away, but decided against it.  
  
* * *  
  
"Is this spot okay?" Gonou asked. He and Yuei were outside, sitting on one of the benches. This one was under a shady tree. The wind wasn't strong, although he was concerned since it had a cold edge to it.  
  
"I'm fine... thanks." She answered, smiling. "Don't worry." Looking up, she began to watch the sky. A flock of birds emerged from somewhere in the woods, and she happily pointed them out to Gonou. "It's so pretty out here." Yuei murmured, watching the birds as they flew over the horizon. "If I wasn't sick, I'd travel around the world. It looks a lot better than it sounds in any book I've read."  
  
"I'm sure you can, real soon. You don't look so sick anymore." Gonou assured her.  
  
"And when I do, I want you to come with me!" Yuei said, facing him with a cheerful smile. Her violet eyes sparkled as she said, "We can look for Kanan, then we can all live together."  
  
Gonou smiled back, then looked away. "That would be the best thing that can happen." he murmured softly.  
  
The months seemed to just pass them by, because before Gonou knew it winter was over. The weather was warmer now, as it was nearing summer. He had started to bring Yuei for walks outside, ever since the cold started to wane. The nuns agreed that it was good for her health, and she told him how much she enjoyed it. Besides, in warmer weather Yuei didn't have her faint spells too often. She used to have a good many, sometimes losing all consciousness. At those times he'd carry her to bed, and stay with her until she woke up. He'd then read her brother's book to her. She slept with it under her pillow, and he was the only person she shared it with. Gonou was ready to think none of the nuns knew about her book.  
  
Some patches of sun penetrated through the trees leaves, landing on places in Gonou's lap. Ever since Yuei came, he felt every bit of his loneliness leave with every moment he spent with her. He hadn't stepped into the library for so long, since he lost the need to. Though it would be some time before his bitterness over losing his family could be forgotten, her company made it all worth bearing.  
  
Gonou stole a glance at Yuei, who caught a leaf falling from the tree above. She twisted the leaf between her fingers, before letting it fly onto the passing breeze. He watched the way her hair caught the light as it waved with each gust, and the way she looked at the view around her so contentedly. Her face, which looked so pale when she arrived, had most of the color restored to them. She looked so much better.  
  
He smiled, heaving a sigh of contentment himself.  
  
He was really glad to have someone again. Nothing would ever replace Kanan, of course, but Yuei was different. She needed him, and. he needed her too.  
  
* * *  
  
The seasons slowly passed by, and soon winter was back. All throughout that year, Yuei's faint spells had been occurring less, but now, slowly, she was becoming just as pale as before. And even though she never told him, Gonou could tell that she was weakening as well. He was careful to make sure she had lots of rest during these times, and lots to eat.  
  
Because of the chilly weather, their walks outside became less and less. Gonou knew how much their walks meant to Yuei, and made sure they still went out whenever the weather wasn't too cold.  
  
* * *  
  
Taking their time, the two walked across the snow, arriving on a bench that had become a favorite place to rest. Toru brushed away the snow that had piled up on it, then motioned for Yuei to sit. Even though snow was falling, Yuei had really wanted to walk outside. She said winter looks its best when snow falls.  
  
Watching the snow as it gently fell to the ground, Yuei held out her hand and let some fall onto her mitten, smiling as she did so.  
  
"The color of the snow easily blends with the sky, and the snowflakes add to the view. Winter looks so peaceful." she murmured.  
  
"I just don't like the cold it takes with it." Gonou peered into her hood and looked at her face. "It's making you look pale, and I don't like that."  
  
Yuei smiled again, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm making you so worried." she closed her eyes. "Your shoulder's so warm, Gonou."  
  
"Is it too chilly?" he asked gently.  
  
"No." she opened her eyes again, and spoke in a quiet voice. "If it's okay, could we walk around some more?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They left their bench, and began to walk down the path, hand in hand. The trees around them were bare of leaves, but each one was adorned with a layer of frost and snow. Yuei stopped to look at them.  
  
Gonou noticed she wasn't walking anymore. He looked towards the trees, then to her. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Those trees just reminded me of something." She replied softly.  
  
"Of what?" "I can't really explain the feeling, but they just look so... beautiful covered in white..." She lowered her eyes. "It's one of the reasons I like winter so much."  
  
Her hand felt so cold in his, and he held it tighter.  
  
"Yuei, I think we should be going back..." Gonou said, tugging at her hand as he started to walk again. She nodded faintly, and started to walk as well.  
  
But after no more than a few steps, Yuei suddenly collapsed forwards, almost taking Gonou with her. Her hand slipped from his, and she fell lightly onto the snow, unconscious.  
  
"Yuei!"  
  
Gonou knelt beside her, bringing her up to his lap. A surge of fear rushed through him when he touched her skin, and felt how cold it was. "She's not breathing..." he thought desperately. That never happened before.  
  
"Somebody!" he screamed, panic in his voice as he held Yuei's motionless body.  
  
"Help me!! Please!!"  
  
* * *  
  
Snowflakes fell softly onto the ground, some falling into tufts of Gonou's dark brown hair as he walked towards a bench. The same bench he and Yuei always used to sit on.  
  
Yuei had been taken to the hospital the day before. Someone came when he yelled for help, and an ambulance was immediately called. He hadn't heard from her since.  
  
Gonou sat on the bench, opening Yuei's worn book. Before she left, Yuei had managed to regain a bit of her consciousness. She had smiled when she saw him, standing by the stretcher she was lying on. Their last conversation ran crystal clear through his memory, as if it happened only moments ago.  
  
"Gonou, did I faint again...?" she whispered, her violet eyes half-open as she looked at him.  
  
"It's okay... you're going to be fine..." he assured her, holding her hand.  
  
"I'm going to be well... then we'll travel around the world, right...?"  
  
"Yes Yuei." there were tears in his own eyes, tears that he bit back.  
  
"We'll go wherever you want. as soon as you get well."  
  
"I'm glad to hear that..." her hold on his hand tightened, "Gonou... please take care of my brother's book. Finish it without me, okay?"  
  
"I will, but. I wish I could go with you." he said softly, holding her hand to his face and knowing painfully well that he couldn't.  
  
"Me too, Gonou," a tear fell from Yuei's eyes, but she held on to her smile, "but when I'm in the hospital, I'll always think of you."  
  
The medics began to bring her inside, and her hand slipped from his.  
  
"I'll miss you."  
  
A new tear fell on a page as Gonou remembered her last words. He'd been coming back to this place ever since Yuei left, wishing she was there with him. The winter lost its beauty without her, and he began to look at it the same way he did before he met her.  
  
Nothing but bitter cold.  
  
Gonou closed the book and went back to the orphanage, hugging the book close as snow fell all around him.  
  
When he opened the door, he was just about to go to his room to finish the book when a nun called his attention.  
  
"Gonou? I need to have a word with you." He stopped, but didn't say a word.  
  
"It's... Yuei." At the sound of his friend's name though, Gonou was immediately concerned.  
  
"How is she? What happened to her?"  
  
But something seemed terribly wrong. The nun approached him, and took his hand sadly. Gonou stared at it, a confused expression on his face.  
  
"What... happened to her...?" his voice trembled, as he looked up at the nun.  
  
"I'm so sorry Gonou..." The nun said, closing her eyes in sympathy. "Yuei... didn't make it. She died a few hours ago, at the hospital."  
  
Gonou was dumbstruck. His only friend... was... dead.?  
  
"No..." he whispered, shaking his head as he flung the nun's hand away. "Yuei can't be dead." he backed away, tears choking his voice. "She can't!"  
  
"Gonou..." the nun worriedly approached him, her own voice shaking as she tried to make him understand. "She's gone... she won't come back..."  
  
"No!!" Gonou yelled. He ran out into the snow, tears of misery falling behind him.  
  
He ran to their bench, his heaving chest constricting his heart. He didn't notice the snow had stopped falling when he reached it. He fell onto it, new tears streaming down his face as he buried it in his arms.  
  
"Yuei..."  
  
* * *  
  
Days later, Gonou stayed in his room, lying down on his bed, doing nothing. He didn't attend Yuei's funeral, because he couldn't bear to see her like that. It hurt too much. Taking out her book from under his pillow, Gonou turned to the last couple of pages and began to read.  
  
He was just about to turn to the last page when he heard a knock on the door. He closed the book and quickly placed it back before the door opened. A nun told him that there was a visitor waiting, and he wordlessly followed her out.  
  
When they reached the main room, however, he was surprised to find the person he least expected to see. Seira was talking to a nun, and they seemed to be discussing something important. Whatever it was, though, the nun looked very pleased.  
  
Seira turned to him when he approached them. "Gonou! Oh, I believe we haven't been introduced." she smiled.  
  
"I'm Yuei's aunt, Seira."  
  
Gonou didn't bother to tell her that he already knew that, and stayed silent.  
  
"I understand that you were a very close friend of my niece, before she passed away. I'm already regretting we weren't able to come back any earlier." Seira continued, a bit sadly. "She told me about you, and. wished something to be done..." At this she looked at the nun, who smiled back.  
  
"What was it...?" he asked, puzzled.  
  
"She told me that her best friend would be very lonely without her, so..." she knelt to his level. "Gonou, I'm here to adopt you." Gonou just looked at her, wondering if he heard her right.  
  
"Yuei made me promise to make you happy. Will it be alright with you?" He just nodded, lost for words.  
  
Seira then stood back up, and turned to the nun. "Would it be alright if he leaves today?"  
  
"Of course." The nun replied.  
  
"Thank you. Gonou, please gather your things now, okay?" She walked to the door. "I'll be back later to pick you up. See you then."  
  
* * *  
  
The snow was falling again when Seira returned. She introduced Gonou to his new father, who took his bag for him and placed it in the trunk. Once they were in the car, Seira noticed and recognized the book Gonou was holding. It was Yuei's.  
  
"She never did want to have it changed..." She mused. "It was her brother's, wasn't it?"  
  
"It was... she told me to keep it for her." Gonou replied, as the car slowly came to a stop. "I never finished it, though. May I read it now?"  
  
"That's fine with me." Seira said. She began to look out the window. "This traffic looks pretty bad, anyway."  
  
"They're still digging up the snow." Gonou's father explained. "A huge pile of it's blocking the road."  
  
Carefully opening the book, Gonou turned to the last page. The ending described winter so sentimentally, and now he knew why Yuei thought the snow was so beautiful.  
  
At the last leaf of the book, he discovered a short letter written on the page. A date was scribbled on top, and he realized that the letter was written a few days before Yuei had her last faint spell. He pushed his glasses upwards and began to read.  
  
Dearest Gonou,  
  
Wasn't the story lovely? I really hope this changes the way you feel about winter. Snow is so pure and white when you look past the cold. I never told you before, but winter kind of reminded me of you. You were so cold when we first met, and everybody kept telling me you weren't friendly. I'm so glad I proved them wrong! But, I'm really sorry I faint so much and cause you trouble. Someday, I'll get well and stop fainting for sure.  
  
In case you're reading this and I'm not there, please don't worry about me. I don't like it whenever you're sad. Your smile means a lot to me.  
  
I'm very happy you became my friend, and I want to let you know that I'll never forget you, no matter what happens.  
  
With love, Yuei  
  
Gonou slowly closed the book, different memories of the times he spent with Yuei running through his mind. How they always walked outside, how he'd read to her, her smile. He thought about the letter, and a tear fell down his cheek as he knew he'd never see her again.  
  
Seira saw the tear, and immediately asked what was wrong. At the same time, the car suddenly moved forwards.  
  
"I'm fine..." Gonou replied, quickly wiping the tear away and smiling. He leant against his new mother's shoulder, sighing as he looked out the window. Several trees passed them by, each adorned with frost and snow. Snowflakes gently fell, eminent against the night sky.  
  
"I'm just fine..."  
  
Yuei would never come back, but...  
  
There was always the winter to remind him of her, after all...  
  
"Thank you, Yuei." He whispered, closing his eyes.  
  
--End 


End file.
